Existence

Often time’s existence is referred to as the human condition. Where we find ourselves at that point and time, is what we see as our existence. It is our day to day life. Now as I have said there are some people who do not live, but exist. They go through the motions of this life and don’t feel, aren’t able to fully live their lives. Many dream of a better life, but do little to bring it about.
As usual people want the easy way to the “good life.” They come up with schemes, buy lottery tickets, or hope that they can be “discovered” for a talent they have. Sadly they rarely are ever given this chance. The reality is schemes fail in the end, not everyone will win the lottery; the odds are greatly against you. Even if you did, think about all the people who have had their lives destroyed by this incredible windfall that should have made their lives better. Finally to be discovered for a talent can work, but sadly it rarely happens.
The focus of life should be happiness, fulfillment, and peace. If given the choice of millions of dollars, or a job where my family and I could live comfortably, I would take the job. Don’t get me wrong the money would be nice, but not worth the trouble. How would you know who your true friends were, or would people try to sue you for the money? The legal system has been abused by us so badly that it is not functional. It like working with teens and trying to get them to understand that it is better to work for something you have than have it given to you. Their world is about instant gratification. They can’t see that existence based solely of getting what they want is a problem. Sooner or later they just take what they want. This is the beginnings of the feeling of entitlement. I would explain to them in education groups that a value of a thing is based on what it is worth to the owner. How a person can earn something and cherish it, yet another be handed something and not respect it.

Modern life

Sometimes in life we find ourselves lost and confused. We don’t know where to turn, what to do, or how to fix things. There is a domino effect that launches us further into this state of confusion, where desperation seems a constant. Poor choices, wrong turns, confused thoughts all lead us to feel as if life is a losing struggle. We soon become bitter, angry, filled with hate towards everyone and everything. We become envious and spiteful, looking to make the world pay for our problems. The hatred that consumes us radiates, outward and turning within, causing us to hate ourselves and all others. When it seems our lives our out of control, that we are waiting for fate to deal us another bad hand. Life can be a frightening thing. It is full of dangers at every turn; you understand how a skittish deer feels when it leaves a clearing to drink from a stream. You feel like nothing can go right, that someone is out to get you. Stress becomes the norm, and you live each second of each day worrying what will happen next. You can’t help but worry over the smallest of things, you feel that nothing has ever, or will ever go right. It is as you are lost and will never find yourself again. You numb yourself to any feeling, not just the bad ones. All you want to do is just lie down and wait for it all to end. In today’s society it is easy to recognize the fears we all live in. the economy is unstable, we are in a constant state of war, the weather is becoming increasingly dangerous, and our lives are no longer what they were. The world before the new millennia, albeit difficult, was more stable. The twentieth century was a far different time than what we live in now. People faced the same hardships with a hardy can do attitude. They faced poverty, war, famine, and many of the things we do today. But they were a different breed. Generation X was the transitional generation of that century. We were taught the values and beliefs of our Baby boomer parents.
We didn’t have the technological wonders of the following generation, but we did live through the start of it. We often feel out of place, and see ourselves as the last of the old viewpoint. We do not understand the following generation, who we feel have been handed everything and think they are entitled to it all. We use the technology at hand, but are not products of it. We can remember chatting as being a face to face interaction, not starring at a computer screen. The cold war was real to us, because we lived it, and saw the end when the wall came down. Yet there is hope, there always is. There is an old saying, that God never puts more on you than you can handle. My parents taught me that every obstacle I face, no matter how large, no matter how daunting, is there to build my character. Through this viewpoint I have strived to be a better person, and hope to pass on this knowledge to you. That’s Right, it doesn’t have to be scary, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can focus on what truly matters, live life rather than sitting on the sidelines. To begin to have peace of mind, and to not worry over the littlest things in this life, this is not the promise of an easy life, because that does not exist, it is however a promise of a fuller and richer life.

Be prepared!

Reality is a harsh taskmaster. When the reality of the dream of easy life comes crashing down, the dreamer has nothing. They think want is all they need. That without working towards something you can achieve anything you desire. It is like a couch potato who decides to become a marathon runner, who does not feel the need to train. Why run when you can sit and watch television. When the race day comes he shows up expecting to compete, to succeed, to win. Only to be the miserable failure that he has allowed himself to be. That is the harshness of reality. It is cold, true, and hard. It’s like the story of the grasshopper and the ant, where the lazy fun loving grasshopper spends his day doing nothing, watches the ants working hard, and ridicules them for it. The ants spend all summer storing up food reserves to survive the winter. When winter finally came the ants were fine, the grasshopper, he was not prepared, was unable to accept responsibility for his actions, and he starved to death. The lesson is simple, hard work is needed to ensure you survive in this life. There are many grasshoppers in this world that live a life of ease. They have a strong feeling of right of entitlement, in other words they have a right to whatever they feel that they deserve. They hold their hands out, because that is all the hard work they feel they should do. This reminds me of the flea on the old Looney Toons cartoons, singing “Oh the world owes me a living…” When the world doesn’t give in to the grasshoppers will, they cry that it’s not fair, they forgot rule number one. Once you understand and accept responsibility that your actions impact the outcome you desire. You begin to look for patterns in yourself, your life, and your actions. You see the mistakes you make, how that you have control over yourself, and only yourself. So many people blindly attempt to control everything. Control of everything is impossible. It isn’t worth the time or effort one puts into it. You are left angry, frustrated, and confused. Stop trying to control anything but yourself. Growing up in the Southern part of West Virginia was an adventure unto itself. A lot of what I learned about human nature came from my early years. My kindness towards others was formed in this world, that many would view as old fashioned. My want and desire to help others and maybe make the world a better place came from here. My sister felt the same way, so she became a Cardiac doctor. I choose the psychology field. We both used what we were taught as children to try and make the world a better place.I was blessed with two very supportive and loving parents, and a wonderful sister. My parents taught me all the life lessons I would need to survive in this world. They taught me compassion, love, independence, and what it is to be a good person. They made sure that I was raised to understand the three R’s, responsibility, respect of others and myself, and reality is tough, but you can make it. I was enrolled in the Boy Scouts of America, where I learned many life lessons, and truly believe the motto, “be prepared.” It is such a simple yet powerful viewpoint. As long as you are prepared for life, you will be successful.

Taking chances.

Imagine how boring it would be if we never took chances. If we never tried new things, never felt the thrill of the unknown, or the sheer pleasure of beating the odds. To place yourself in a situation that seems to be uncomfortable, but over all helps to mature you as a person. I remember watching an old martial arts movie, where the hero lost, he failed, and he was beaten, broken and busted. His teacher approached him with a warm smile. The hero was confused as he stood there stripped bare, experiencing pain and defeat. The instructor went on to explain “one victory is one lesson; one defeat is a thousand lessons learned. Now you are probably asking yourself what this means, or as some of you have already figured out, it’s one of the best lessons in life. After making the breakthrough of creating the light bulb, Thomas Edison was being interviewed by a reporter, at one point the reporter asked why it took him so many times to make the light bulb, how did it feel to fail so much. Edison looked at him and said that he did not fail, he just learned many ways how not to make a light bulb. If we succeeded at all things, we never learn, we remain in a constant state of being. We become comfortable, complacent in our lot in life. Many successful people have made many mistakes, rarely does beginners luck play into the situation. The emotions elicited by defeat and mistake are sometimes painful and powerful. You feel as though the world has ended, that trying is worthless, not worth the pain or trouble. In “Batman begins”, Bruce Wayne’s father teaches his son a valuable lesson, he asks him “why do we fall?” Then answers so we can pick ourselves back up again. How often have we given up because the falling is too hard, the landing to devastating, and that it is just more comfortable to just do nothing. It is human nature to not want to experience emotional pain, yet it is part of what makes us, teaches us valuable lessons, and as you will see, in life all things have a reason for being.

Feeling

Imagine how empty happiness would be if we didn’t face sadness or the many trials of life. It would have no meaning, no purpose; it would just be something we felt, a meaningless experience void of any understanding, useless to us in any form. Sadly people numb themselves to one emotion, only to lose the other in the process. The world is full of many people who sadly wonder through life, never feeling, never understanding, and never truly living life. Life is wonderful, incredible, and the greatest of experiences we can have. It is how we progress, how we become who are, and how we leave a mark upon this earth. Then there are philanthropists, who help their fellow man by using power and wealth. They commit themselves to causes and trying to help their fellow man. They are able to fill the emptiness that many of us feel in our lives. They help charities and try to better themselves in the process. As complex and fulfilling as life can be, sadly it is not very long, so our lives carry great meaning to us, and hopefully to many others. The people we affect in this life are those we know of, and those we do not. At birth, the two people who gave us life begin to feel the affect of the gift of love that is our lives. As we grow and mature, we have an influence on those around us. Then we meet that one person whom we share love with, and then the circle of life begins again. This is what we do, how we continue the race of man, and how we live.

Justice.

There is an epidemic in today’s society; it’s called “the easy life”. People do not want to work; they want everything handed to them. They feel they are entitled to whatever they want. It is a growing trend, and it can only lead to a weaker society. You hear a lot about the haves and the have not people. Well in some cases it’s more like the work or don’t work people. Look back at history, in 1607, at the Jamestown colony, things were not good. People were starving daily, there were no exports to speak of, and the relations with the Native Americans were terrible. Captain John Smith, looked to his spiritual nature, as we all do when faced with overwhelming issues, and found an answer. In II Thessalonians 3:10 “He who does not work, neither shall he eat.” Many people today would end up starving. Ironically though, it’s funny that the socialist and communists, who is atheist by nature, use this statement in their teachings.Life is not fair, but there is justice in life. Sometimes its poetic, and sometimes it is ironic. In the movie “Batman Begins” Bruce Wayne was lamenting that the court system was not fair, his lifelong friend Rachel Dawes replies “it’s about justice.” Webster’s dictionary defines justice as the concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, law, natural law, religion, fairness, or equality, along with the punishment of the breach of said ethics. It goes beyond simple fairness; it is a complex system, which upholds its values. It is based in right and wrong, but is not just plain black and white, but also about the gray areas. Like life, it is not perfect, it just is what it is. Not everything is simple, yet not everything is hard, such is the dual nature of life. Along the way I added a different second rule, it is simply stated “life is not easy”. Oh that it were. It would be so great, to not have any worries, to not have to work, to just sit back and relax. Once you commit this rule to yourself, you are able to focus yourself on your goals. Look at history and current events. Those with an “easy life”, talent, money, beauty, resources, and fame, are falling hard due to the ease of their existence. They think they are above the rest of society, that they have a special place and that the rules don’t apply to them. They commit crimes, break the rules, all along thinking and feeling that they are above it all, they are entitled. When life catches up with them and justice prevails, they fall, hard. Sadly many people look up to them and are hurt and confused when justice is served.

Role Models

Role models play a huge part in the shaping of the person. I do not mean heroes or sports stars. I mean the real life examples set down by a close person who daily interacts with a person. As I stated earlier I was blessed with a great family. My father and his brothers were the role models that taught me what it is to be a man. If I can ever be half the man that they were, I can call myself a man. They were from very simple means. Born and raised in Mingo County, in the southern part of West Virginia. My Grandfather Shela Lester worked in the coal mines, and was married to my Grandmother Vernice Cline. They had six children, Earl, Thomas, Duane, (Duke), Curt, Jo Ann, and two of which had died at birth. My Grandfather’s back was injured in a mine roof fall, and he had breathing problems for the rest of his life. My father would tell my sister and I stories of growing up poor, how that the brothers had to move to Columbus Ohio and stayed with an Uncle at the age of eighteen. He worked in a glass factory until he was drafted into the military during the Vietnam War. Each of the brothers were in the military, and each loved this country. My father worked during the war as a typist in “Remington’s Raider’s.” His older Brother Earl was stationed in Alaska, His younger brother Duke was a Combat Technician in the 101st Airborne Unit in Vietnam, and the youngest Curt was stationed stateside in the Fifth Army, which he would tell me was “Custer’s army.
These four men have had a lasting effect on my life. My father is my personal hero, who no matter what the circumstances has taken care of his family. He to me is the very definition of what a man is to be. He is strong, stoic, kind, brave, and above all else a wonderful person. Throughout my life until now, the man continues to teach me, and I am thankful for it. Uncle Earl was my scout troop leader, and he shaped the lives of many young men in our community, including my mother’s two youngest brothers who are not much older than me. Earl and I were close; he taught me many things, from a good work ethic, to always doing what is right. His untimely death in the late 2000s was very hard to deal with; I still feel a sense of loss when I think of him. Uncle Duke is a true American Hero, in every sense of the word. The Veteran’s administration is currently trying to help petition him for a congressional medal of honor, which he was nominated for in the late 60’s. He is a great man, who has had a tough time in life, but has overcome so much. I would love to see him right his memoirs down one day. Uncle Curt is the most charismatic man I have ever met. People love and naturally flock to him. He is always ready to tell a joke or make you smile, even if you don’t want to. He and Dad are close, and they go out to dinner once a week with my Mother and Aunt. These four men helped shape me as a person. They are my own personal heroes, and God blessed me to have them in my life. As I grow older and watch the men who I view as being immortal age, I realize they are mortal. I have lost one, but still have the other three in my life. As time continues and each one passes, I will uphold their memories as best I can.

The first rule

I remember as if it were yesterday, the warm late summer weather of 1988. for most of the entire month of august, we had been practicing two a day football drills, preparing for the upcoming season. The first day of my senior year was exciting, thinking this was it, the end of school. I entered the classroom of Mr James White, unaware that this class would be more valuable to me than any other I have had in my life. after the bell rang, class began. Mr White was a tall bearded man who spoke eloquently, which was strange in the southern part of West Virginia. He introduced himself, stated that he would be tough, and that there was one rule we should remember. he walked to the board and wrote "life is not fair." A simple enough statement, one that was easy to remember, and short. He then handed out the books we were to use and began teaching. Every so often the rule would come up daily, when a student was late, didn't turn in a assignment on time, or just felt they were being unjustly treated. He would explain to them as he did on the first day, that the assignments are posted, you will be given sufficient time, and that you are expected to be in class on time. Needless to say, the inevitable "that's not fair !" would be uttered, or whined. to which he replied, "Rule number one." This rule is in essence strange, since it implies that life will not be fair, yet it is the fairest rule I have ever heard. Even as an adult I have to constantly remind myself of the rule. When things go bad, when I am mistreated, or when I feel life is not being fair to me, rule number one is there to help me understand that things are as they are, and sometimes can not be changed. Once you accept this nugget of wisdom it opens up a world of possibilities before you, one in which you can accomplish many things, as long as you never forget the first rule.