Existence

Often time’s existence is referred to as the human condition. Where we find ourselves at that point and time, is what we see as our existence. It is our day to day life. Now as I have said there are some people who do not live, but exist. They go through the motions of this life and don’t feel, aren’t able to fully live their lives. Many dream of a better life, but do little to bring it about.
As usual people want the easy way to the “good life.” They come up with schemes, buy lottery tickets, or hope that they can be “discovered” for a talent they have. Sadly they rarely are ever given this chance. The reality is schemes fail in the end, not everyone will win the lottery; the odds are greatly against you. Even if you did, think about all the people who have had their lives destroyed by this incredible windfall that should have made their lives better. Finally to be discovered for a talent can work, but sadly it rarely happens.
The focus of life should be happiness, fulfillment, and peace. If given the choice of millions of dollars, or a job where my family and I could live comfortably, I would take the job. Don’t get me wrong the money would be nice, but not worth the trouble. How would you know who your true friends were, or would people try to sue you for the money? The legal system has been abused by us so badly that it is not functional. It like working with teens and trying to get them to understand that it is better to work for something you have than have it given to you. Their world is about instant gratification. They can’t see that existence based solely of getting what they want is a problem. Sooner or later they just take what they want. This is the beginnings of the feeling of entitlement. I would explain to them in education groups that a value of a thing is based on what it is worth to the owner. How a person can earn something and cherish it, yet another be handed something and not respect it.

Modern life

Sometimes in life we find ourselves lost and confused. We don’t know where to turn, what to do, or how to fix things. There is a domino effect that launches us further into this state of confusion, where desperation seems a constant. Poor choices, wrong turns, confused thoughts all lead us to feel as if life is a losing struggle. We soon become bitter, angry, filled with hate towards everyone and everything. We become envious and spiteful, looking to make the world pay for our problems. The hatred that consumes us radiates, outward and turning within, causing us to hate ourselves and all others. When it seems our lives our out of control, that we are waiting for fate to deal us another bad hand. Life can be a frightening thing. It is full of dangers at every turn; you understand how a skittish deer feels when it leaves a clearing to drink from a stream. You feel like nothing can go right, that someone is out to get you. Stress becomes the norm, and you live each second of each day worrying what will happen next. You can’t help but worry over the smallest of things, you feel that nothing has ever, or will ever go right. It is as you are lost and will never find yourself again. You numb yourself to any feeling, not just the bad ones. All you want to do is just lie down and wait for it all to end. In today’s society it is easy to recognize the fears we all live in. the economy is unstable, we are in a constant state of war, the weather is becoming increasingly dangerous, and our lives are no longer what they were. The world before the new millennia, albeit difficult, was more stable. The twentieth century was a far different time than what we live in now. People faced the same hardships with a hardy can do attitude. They faced poverty, war, famine, and many of the things we do today. But they were a different breed. Generation X was the transitional generation of that century. We were taught the values and beliefs of our Baby boomer parents.
We didn’t have the technological wonders of the following generation, but we did live through the start of it. We often feel out of place, and see ourselves as the last of the old viewpoint. We do not understand the following generation, who we feel have been handed everything and think they are entitled to it all. We use the technology at hand, but are not products of it. We can remember chatting as being a face to face interaction, not starring at a computer screen. The cold war was real to us, because we lived it, and saw the end when the wall came down. Yet there is hope, there always is. There is an old saying, that God never puts more on you than you can handle. My parents taught me that every obstacle I face, no matter how large, no matter how daunting, is there to build my character. Through this viewpoint I have strived to be a better person, and hope to pass on this knowledge to you. That’s Right, it doesn’t have to be scary, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can focus on what truly matters, live life rather than sitting on the sidelines. To begin to have peace of mind, and to not worry over the littlest things in this life, this is not the promise of an easy life, because that does not exist, it is however a promise of a fuller and richer life.

Be prepared!

Reality is a harsh taskmaster. When the reality of the dream of easy life comes crashing down, the dreamer has nothing. They think want is all they need. That without working towards something you can achieve anything you desire. It is like a couch potato who decides to become a marathon runner, who does not feel the need to train. Why run when you can sit and watch television. When the race day comes he shows up expecting to compete, to succeed, to win. Only to be the miserable failure that he has allowed himself to be. That is the harshness of reality. It is cold, true, and hard. It’s like the story of the grasshopper and the ant, where the lazy fun loving grasshopper spends his day doing nothing, watches the ants working hard, and ridicules them for it. The ants spend all summer storing up food reserves to survive the winter. When winter finally came the ants were fine, the grasshopper, he was not prepared, was unable to accept responsibility for his actions, and he starved to death. The lesson is simple, hard work is needed to ensure you survive in this life. There are many grasshoppers in this world that live a life of ease. They have a strong feeling of right of entitlement, in other words they have a right to whatever they feel that they deserve. They hold their hands out, because that is all the hard work they feel they should do. This reminds me of the flea on the old Looney Toons cartoons, singing “Oh the world owes me a living…” When the world doesn’t give in to the grasshoppers will, they cry that it’s not fair, they forgot rule number one. Once you understand and accept responsibility that your actions impact the outcome you desire. You begin to look for patterns in yourself, your life, and your actions. You see the mistakes you make, how that you have control over yourself, and only yourself. So many people blindly attempt to control everything. Control of everything is impossible. It isn’t worth the time or effort one puts into it. You are left angry, frustrated, and confused. Stop trying to control anything but yourself. Growing up in the Southern part of West Virginia was an adventure unto itself. A lot of what I learned about human nature came from my early years. My kindness towards others was formed in this world, that many would view as old fashioned. My want and desire to help others and maybe make the world a better place came from here. My sister felt the same way, so she became a Cardiac doctor. I choose the psychology field. We both used what we were taught as children to try and make the world a better place.I was blessed with two very supportive and loving parents, and a wonderful sister. My parents taught me all the life lessons I would need to survive in this world. They taught me compassion, love, independence, and what it is to be a good person. They made sure that I was raised to understand the three R’s, responsibility, respect of others and myself, and reality is tough, but you can make it. I was enrolled in the Boy Scouts of America, where I learned many life lessons, and truly believe the motto, “be prepared.” It is such a simple yet powerful viewpoint. As long as you are prepared for life, you will be successful.

Taking chances.

Imagine how boring it would be if we never took chances. If we never tried new things, never felt the thrill of the unknown, or the sheer pleasure of beating the odds. To place yourself in a situation that seems to be uncomfortable, but over all helps to mature you as a person. I remember watching an old martial arts movie, where the hero lost, he failed, and he was beaten, broken and busted. His teacher approached him with a warm smile. The hero was confused as he stood there stripped bare, experiencing pain and defeat. The instructor went on to explain “one victory is one lesson; one defeat is a thousand lessons learned. Now you are probably asking yourself what this means, or as some of you have already figured out, it’s one of the best lessons in life. After making the breakthrough of creating the light bulb, Thomas Edison was being interviewed by a reporter, at one point the reporter asked why it took him so many times to make the light bulb, how did it feel to fail so much. Edison looked at him and said that he did not fail, he just learned many ways how not to make a light bulb. If we succeeded at all things, we never learn, we remain in a constant state of being. We become comfortable, complacent in our lot in life. Many successful people have made many mistakes, rarely does beginners luck play into the situation. The emotions elicited by defeat and mistake are sometimes painful and powerful. You feel as though the world has ended, that trying is worthless, not worth the pain or trouble. In “Batman begins”, Bruce Wayne’s father teaches his son a valuable lesson, he asks him “why do we fall?” Then answers so we can pick ourselves back up again. How often have we given up because the falling is too hard, the landing to devastating, and that it is just more comfortable to just do nothing. It is human nature to not want to experience emotional pain, yet it is part of what makes us, teaches us valuable lessons, and as you will see, in life all things have a reason for being.